Question: I'm not quite sure what you mean when You say My Shakti is very powerful, do explain & also how to make the journeys with more consiousness, ie not to drift off?
Answer: It's hard to begin to answer the Shakti question. Mostly because it is one of those obvious things from where I was sitting, i.e. the tantra facilitator for the day. To say this same thing another way, you have more energy or maybe you just have more access to your energy. (Which may have created problems for you in the past). And why this "extra energy" is important whether you are going to teach Tantra or not, is that naturally you will be able to work with the higher intensity energies typical for Tantra healing. Well, the raw potential is there ... right now I see more potential in you for working with Tantra massage and those more direct methods, rather than the group facilitation, but that's just for right now ... And it does not surprise me that issues around touch came up.
Question: I enjoyed the Workshop, especially the journeys. You have a really good voice for it, though it would take me a little time to get comfortable with being instructed by a man. I felt self consious & I'm not sure how comfortable I am about being touched unexpectedly when I'm in the middle of my experience.
Answer: Maybe look at being instructed by a man as adding something to your experiences to date. I never believed in accidents, so the obvious question is - why at this particular moment in your life you need to address that, let's call it, new experience? ..... My personal observation over the years is that every female Tantra teacher I have met, they had to learn how to be women again at some stage. In the moment when they dropped the aspirations to be better than men in a "men's world", they accessed their femininity and then they accessed their true power. A lot of what I do is around that. Once we access authentic power everything else follows. If a man accesses true masculinity, he will never abuse women, earth, life. If a woman accesses true femininity, the "men's world" cannot touch her. She becomes the all-encompasing, all-embracing, all-inclusive Universe. How can she reject any part of herself!
As for touching - I "see" through my hands. Well, I see through all of my body. For years I used to "see" through my shoulders. So people would be asking me why I do not look at them and do these weird movements with my shoulders. It took me years to allow my hands and my body to do what it needs to do in the culture on this island which is not used to touch. But I also do it because I "see" how starved people's bodies here are for touch. I've done lots of free movement, contact improvisation, I give massage, so i know plenty about Irish bodies that the Irish do not know themselves. Usually people like it. Usually the comments are along the lines that I placed my hands right on the spot where it hurt most. Or if it is too sore, I work on the opposite side and then the feedback is how could the pain have released even though I never touched the sore area..... I really do not know how that one works. I ask Spirit to do its thing and I offer my body in service. After that I am as much an observer as everybody else in the room.
My Tantra teacher had a problem with it. "Tantra teachers" with psychotherapeutic background have a problem with it. But when I read the excerpts from the older Tantra sutras and teachings, the instructions usually are about following what comes from within. If this is what comes naturally for me, why not! .... Plus if somebody - not you, but in general - if somebody has a problem being touched while in a mild psychological "process", how will this somebody handle a 4 or 5 or 8 hours full blown Tantra sexual ritual in which all hell breaks loose (all heaven breaks loose too) ... Touch is the most primal sense. All other senses are variations on Touch, ie. sight is the touch of photons on the retina, hearing is the touch of vibrating air on the ear drum, smell is the touch of air-borne chemicals on the olfactory nerve, taste is the taste buds being touched by various substances in food. So everything is Touch. In that sense, I use my touch to bring them deeper into their experience. Very often what may feel as an authentic process is actually a skirting around an issue. And touching the chronically tense muscle - in which the main repressed emotion is lodged - often releases the flood gates.
Question: I was reading Casteneda again. Don Juan talks about controlled folly. Where we act out a drama knowing that it is just that, a drama, but we do it anyway, with awareness.
I think weddings are a controlled folly for me , I celebrate the occasion even though I dont really believe in marriage, I mean why is the bride so happy, she had her man the same yesterday as today, nothing there has changed. In fact there is a possibility that with marriage they will start getting complacent, taking each other for granted, testing the boundaries of each others tolerance, losing the politeness they had with each other. I am probably projecting, but when I look at them I see all of this in their future. Controlled folly, what do you think of it? Don juan does it even though he knows it is a folly. I do it but less and less as I become less tolerant of myself indulging in dramas. It is however a way of making that initial connecting with people sometimes. Is it taking part in a drama , a trick set up to bring awareness?
Answer: Like anything the original idea of marriage was as sacred and as powerful as they come. But due to the various developments later, most likely religion is solely responsible for the "fall", so by today it has been emptied of just about all its meaning and energy.
Anastasia gives the best account of marriage that I know of. For her it starts in childhood and continues through incarnations ...
As a practical working model of marriage I like the Tantric variety in which the "vows" are renewed at different periods. Can be at every full moon, can be at every solstice, can be at whatever period is meaningful for the couple ... and if one of them does not want to renew then the marriage is resolved/dissolved ... though when done properly at that level, again it is something that continues usually for life and often longer.
(There are no vows as such. It is more like a contract but main thing is the desire, the energy.)
The problem with Castaneda's books is that he did not really know what he was talking about. That is, he did not have the experiences. So he should have kept his mouth shut .... But stirred a whole generation to start seeking so maybe in the final count the good outweighs the bad.
For me, Don Juan was trying to provide stories/justifications for Castaneda to begin loosening the control his mind had over his life. So although to Castaneda he was saying, oh, it's just a game. Don Juan, for himself, would have engaged totally in all of it because he knows that this is all there is to this or any other reality. At his level, although he can see it as appearance, he is simultaneously seeing it as the most perfect expression of this moment. So it is both an appearance and not. But it is also the Thing that keeps him connected to This reality. And he has to stay connected until his mission is fulfilled .......... Plus there is my personal questiong of Castaneda's description of those shamanic practices around the way he overemphasised fear and darkness and the predatorial nature of the world. Which is actually not that different from some of the Tantra. But these days it seems to me that this darkness is not as relevant. That the Light is more important ... (which I take it also as evidence that Castaneda, at that stage of his writing, was still clearing his "unconscious", i.e. those books should not have been published until he had completed his apprenticeship, if he ever did complete that one ..... funny, I was just with a friend whose best friend moved and lived for years in the community around Castaneda. He only came back to Ireland after Castaneda died.)
What I like about Tantra is that it gives me a real experiential method to participate in those "dramas" .... I also find that the ordinary uneducated salt-of-the-earth folk usually have an inate knowledge of that sacredness of those "follies".
I was just looking last night through videos of the Bulgarian clairvoyant Vanga on YouTube where she tells Bulgarians "to keep practicing your national customs as this is what keeps you Bulgarian and what connects you with times past" and I'd say also what connects us with the older knowledges and the ancestry, to give another angle of the real meaning of those rituals.
But back to Tantra, if the marriage ritual is done properly, everything changes. Tantrically this is what we are here for and it is the fastest way to work through karma and related and ascend .... Of course, it can be undone if necessary, but it is not meant to. It was not meant to.
For me, in a relationship, the connection grows constantly. My multi-dimensional perceptions help me as I can see growth in areas not generally accessible to the average person. (Though I do not think there is anything special about my perception. I'd say this is how we all are, but very few are interested to go there). I see this in other relationships. For me the pain is when people separate and disrespect that growth process.
It is so so hard on the children when separation happens, and also when "routines" set in. In short, when the love goes ...... Of course, the love never goes, but all sorts of nonsense begins to interfere with the direct experience of the love connection.
I was reading an interview with one of the current lovers of Charles Muir - the grand-daddy of current Western Tantra. And she was saying that it is quite extraordinary to be with someone who tells you at least 3-4 times a night that he loves you ... When she says this I know exactly where Charles Muir is coming from .... I have this in some form with all women, with any living beings or things, with any inanimate thing too .... otherwise I would not be teaching Tantra ...
In Tantra they say that there is nothing more precious on this Earth than a Tantric woman. Which is actually a totally practical experience and totally extraordinary...... So, from my own male perspective, I cannot imagine anything higher, bigger than such a woman wanting to share her body, her life, her heart with me. Maybe from the female perspective it feels that way too? .... Imagine asking her each full moon if she still feels like this towards me, with me. And each month she says Yes. And each full moon she asks me the same, and I say Yes. Imagine what happens to our energy bodies, to our individual and shared brightnesses, to our mutual evolutions ...
Of course, that monthly ritual is total folly :-) ... Since when one is in the Tantric awareness every look, every caress, every uttering is re-affirmation of that ever growing bond and merging towards oneness ...
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